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17 Jul

Well, he does."But he is really attractive," she adds. He's older — maybe late twenties or early thirties.

Curly light hair, the cardigan, a tailored white shirt with rolled-up sleeves and slim khaki trousers that all set off naturally tan skin. Fiona twirls a strand of hair, wishing she'd had a blow-dryer.

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"And as his hand works its way confidently up my thigh, I note he’s also wearing the same aftershave as my first (and most hated) boss. "The most shrapnel my exes have carried is some light Taylor Swift dumping misery . "Harvey has three kids and probably had his first snog before I was born. "I can already picture the St Michael label without having to check. "Trying hard to turn that into a sexy boss/secretary vibe in my head, I offer to get a round in at the bar. "The only thing for it is to kiss him as he’s quite hot when he’s not talking. "He orders a pint of local rot called something like Dead Otter or Pirate’s Codpiece and I grab a large white wine. We go back up to the bar after a kiss, and Fiona is looking a bit more concerned.The Pirate is likely attempting to plunder, and she (and we) will have none of it.